Anger and rage are often defense mechanisms for avoiding painful emotions, challenging situations, or escaping from responsibility. Without emotional management, anger can quickly get out of hand and cause problems. Here are five tips for getting through anger successfully.
- Take That Pause: Once anger hits a boiling point it can be hard to think about anything. Your mind is boiling, your insides are raging, and you are struggling to think outside of what you’re so angry at you might explode. With time and anger management, you can learn to take a pause between experiencing anger and acting rash. Notice the signs of your anger brewing. Before acting out on your anger, take a minute to pause and think about what is coming next. How do you want to handle yourself outside of your anger?
- Articulate Your Anger: Now that you’ve been able to maintain some control, you can decide how you want to express your anger. Remember, anger is a secondary emotion. What you are really feeling is likely a form of fear and/or a form of sadness. Choose your words carefully so as not to point blame or shame at anyone else for what you are feeling. Anger is a choice. Choose what you want it to be.
- Don’t Use “You” Use “I”: “I statements” help you manage your anger and not cause anger in someone else. “I” statements help you own your anger and any underlying emotions you are experiencing. Anger gets out of control when you refuse to acknowledge it is your anger to control.
- Look For Resolutions: Is there a resolution for the conflict causing you anger? This can help you let go of your anger more quickly. If there’s a resolution, seek it out and work to make it happen. If there is not, you have to accept that and simply let it go. Holding onto your anger and continuing to be angry won’t cause a resolution, only more problems.
- Stick To The Sunnyside: Know what makes anger easier to manage? Laughter. There’s a good chance what you’re fuming with anger about is pretty funny. If nothing else, it might be funny that you’ve gotten so angry over it. Don’t discount your feelings or minimize your experience. Just remember that this too shall pass and you’ll look back on this moment in a new way soon.
Anger management is part of the multiphase program at LEAD Recovery Center where we are equipping young adults and women with the leadership skills they need to live an autonomous life in recovery. For more information, call us today at 1-800-380-0012.